Still

I have a dear friend whose family is currently facing a hard, painful situation. I have had the honor of knowing her for the past few years. She has been nothing but an enormous blessing to not only me, but many around her. Since I've been back from Prague, she has been even more of an inspiration to me. The way her and her husband have been walking through this challenging time has been nothing short of amazing. They have clung to God tighter than I've ever witnessed, and have seen God move in ways that words could never do justice.

I was listening to the song "Still" months ago on one of my runs, and literally stopped and cried for my friend. They were the exact words I prayed for them then, and have continued to pray for them since. I see them constantly returning to His quietness and power. I see it in their faces, read in their emails, and hear it in their voices. Their souls truly do find rest in Christ alone.

God, thank you for providing people like Susan and Sila in my life. Lord, that they will continue to find rest in You alone. Remind them daily, hourly of your boundless love and care for them.


Still
"Hide me now
Under your wings
Cover me
within your mighty hand

When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with you above the storm
Father you are king over the flood
I will be still and know you are God

Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know his power
In quietness and trust"

Inspiring

"One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee’s house and took his place at the table. And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner." And Jesus answering said to him, "Simon, I have something to say to you." And he answered, "Say it, Teacher."

I was recently incredibly moved by this familiar passage out of Luke. The redemptive story of someone who was broken, condemned, battered down, criticized, and lonely. I admire her courage and ability to rise above those who judged and looked down upon her. She came to the end of herself, and found Jesus. She didn't care about the mountains of whispers, looks, and judgements that would await her when she walked through those doors. Her need for healing, love, and grace were so powerful, NOTHING could keep her away.

Outwardly it was easy to see this women needed Jesus. It was Simon and the Pharisees that found it impossible to realize the fact that they needed Jesus just as badly as this precious woman did. I pray I would realize more and more how desperate I need the same healing, love, and grace this prostitute did.

"Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, "Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet. You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment. Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little." And he said to her, 'Your sins are forgiven.'"

Lest I Forget

As of late, I've been reminded, in good and hard ways, that timing is, indeed, everything. I'm also reminded of the power of our words. Words can be like honey, soothing the hardest of days. They can also wound like the sharpest of knives. How easily we can forget...the power of words.

Throughout the last 20 something years in life, I've come to realize there really aren't coincidences. God in His oh so perfect way uses our day-to-day interactions and events to "gently" (or not so gently) prod us along the straight and narrow. It's up to me (and you) to allow these moments to sink in and refine. Will I let this hard, hurtful circumstance bring division and an air of self-righteousness? Or will I allow this to bring growth and humility, and choose to honor God? This is the choice we face day to day. I pray I will go with the ladder of the two, and be an agent of change and healing rather than a fragrance of self-righteousness and discord.

Back To the Basics

So, here it is. It's been awhile since I wrote what was going on in my world...I mean what is really going on. I'm not completely sure why I have been staying away from anything deep and personal, but have a few guesses. I just haven't felt like opening up and sharing the deep, dark with my computer screen. I have definitely hit a place of serious doubt and questioning. Either I've been seriously off, or perhaps the straight and narrow just gotten a bit more narrow in the last few months. I'm just tired of all the Christian cliches out there. Tired of passively knowing all the cute little Bible stories, and ready to really KNOW the God of the universe. And let me tell you, it's not the easiest thing in the world. Definitely humbling finding yourself asking/doubting the basics. Now, not hard in the sense that life sucks and there's no hope (although there are days life kinda sucks ;0) ). I think it's the fact I do have such hope that it's been so hard. See, I know there is only way to true change and redemption. I know there is only one person that is capable of providing the grace and love I so deeply need. And knowing there is only one is honestly a bit frustrating. Isn't there anyone or anything else that can come to my rescue? Anyone/thing that can make things better? Unfortunately not. I can try to find someone/something else, but it will just bring me back to the point I am today. BUT this is the thing...no matter how hard things are...no matter how deep the hurt and pain, I KNOW one day I will have true restoration. I know there will come a day when I will fully trust God, and I will be able to rest more and more in His endless love...BUT, today it's just not there. Today, I am just trying to make it each hour of each day...trying to believe and know I can trust Him. That's just being honest.

There are times it's hard to be wrestling with this stuff. Our "Christian" environments aren't always conducive to asking real, simple questions. People look at you with blank stares that can make you feel a bit ridiculous. But I am pretty ridiculous, so I'm good with that. You just get to the point where you have to let go, and admit you may have missed a thing or two (or three or four). Admit that I've been trying do to it in my own strength and knowledge. He's bringing me to the end of me and the beginning of Him...all Him. And it's been HARD. Totally turns everything upside down, and shakes everything up. All the "stuff" we learn and store in our head is great, but really is without value if we don't let it touch and saturate our hearts. I'm finally asking real questions. Simple, honest, basic questions.

As hard as things are right now, I wouldn't trade it for the world. You know why? Cause I am getting to know the Father in ways I have never known before...real ways. There are lots of tears, lots of hurts, and lots of pain, but I know it will all be worth it...that it is worth it.

I pray you have the courage and strength to ask the hard questions. To know there is nothing wrong with admitting you are a big, fat mess. To let go of the mountains of head knowledge, and let it make it's way to your heart. Because that's where you really begin to know Him.

"Half" way there...

As some of you know I am on my journey of completing my first marathon. This Saturday I competed in my first half-marathon. I was definitely a bit nervous only because I had been sick the 3 weeks prior to the race, and had only ran the 6 days leading up to race day. I will admit to you that I could hardly finish an hour run that week leading up the race, so I feel my concerns were legit. I pretty much assumed I was going to get dominated by the race. I talked to Billy (former boss, amazing runner, and pretty much my running coach) before the race, and expressed my concern. He assured me the 4 1/2 months of training had given me a great foundation to run the race regardless of the past few weeks. I wasn't as confident, but did it anyways. I basically wanted to make sure I wasn't setting myself up for failure and, more importantly, injury. So, I set a goal time, and went for it.

I'm incredibly happy (and a bit shocked) to report that I finished 10 minutes under my goal time! It was a great race! The weather was perfect, and running along White Rock Lake in Dallas was beautiful. Mile 7-9 were a bit brutal, but I survived. It really got me pumped for the full in November. Hopefully I can pick up my intensity a bit, and be well prepared come race day. Thanks Billy for all your help!!!

I AM...

I am a child of God (John 1:12). I am born again(1Pt 1:23). I am a new creation in Christ(2Cor 5:17) I am united with God, and am one with Him in spirit(1Cor 6:17). I have been bought with a price(1Cor 6:20). I am being redeemed more and more everyday(Col 1:14). I have been justified(Rom5:1). I am safely and completely tucked away in the hands of God(John 6:39). I am a member of the Body of Christ(1Cor 12:27). I have been chosen(John 15:16). I am adopted as the King's daughter(Eph 1:5). I am sealed as His beloved(Rom 9:25). I am forgiven(Eph 1:7). I am complete(Col 2:10). I have direct access to the throne of the One and only true God(Eph 2:18). I am free from condemnation(Rom 8:1). I am fearfully and wonderfully made(Ps 139:14). I am confident He will finish the work He began within(Phil 1:6). I am secured for eternity(John 6:39). I am significant(1Pt 2:9). I am more than a conqueror(Rom 8:37) I have not been given the spirit of fear and timidity, but that of power, love, and discipline(2Tim 1:7). I am a joint heir with Christ(Rom 8:17). I am God's temple(1Cor 3:16). I am part of a chosen race, His royal priesthood, a holy nation(1Pt 2:9) I am wholly, completely, and eternally loved(Col 3:12, Rom 1:7, 1Thess 1:4,Eph 2:4). I am a follower of the One true God and His divine Word.

Painful...

UMvsUtah-Aug08.jpg (75)
Originally uploaded by hardyc

I wasn't going to acknowledge it, and I don't really want to talk about it...I'll just go ahead and say I think it might be a looooong season...just gotta endure and persevere...
On a positive note, I am proud of the way they rallied there at the end. Hard to come back for 2 touchdowns in the 4th when you've been down pretty much the whole game...let's keep our fingers crossed for next week...
Also, to my Clemson friends mourning as well, really sorry for your loss...

Can hardly wait...

And for Joe...

Back in Prague?

So, I was shopping at one of my favorite stores (Target) yesterday, and thought I was going crazy. I've been pretty sick the last couple days, which means I've been on some serious medication. I thought that may have been the culpret. I was in the sunglass section (since my previous oh-so-cute-$5 glasses broke the day before), trying on some new $5 glasses, when I could have sworn I heard a dog bark. What in the world? Am I having a flashback to being in Prague. The following is the conversation I had with myself:

"Wait, is that a dog I hear?" (Looking over my shoulder at a lady playing with watches)
"Ooooooh, that's cute...a watch that makes sounds like a dog!" (Hearing the "bark" again.)
"Man, that REALLY sounds like a real dog...the watch can't be THAT good...Can it?" (I take a look at the watch lady, then notice the watch lady staring at a suspicious lady in the aisle next to us. Guess it's not the watch lady...)
"I think the barking is coming from the suspicious lady!"

Lo and behold, there was the dog. I was scrambling in my purse for my camera, but couldn't find it. By this time crowds are definitely gathering. I walk over to another section, and see 3 Target employees cowering, almost hiding from the dog lady. They were asking each other if it was ok to have dogs in the store. NO! I wanted to scream. Are you crazy? Are dogs ever allowed in stores? This is America! Maybe these people had just got back from living overseas as well...

Well, I left before I saw the resolution, but I did hear an announcement over an employees walkie talkie that the dog lady had to go because she was disturbing the costumers...thank you Lord for being in America.

WHAT IF...

God says...

"What if I tell them who they are? What if I take away any element of fear in condemnation, judgement, or rejection? What if I tell them I love them, will always love them? That I love them right now , no matter what they've done, as much as I love my only Son? That there's nothing they can do to make my love go away?

What if I tell them there are no lists? What if I tell them I don't keep a log of past offenses, of how little they pray, how often they've let me down, made promises that they don't keep? What if I tell them they are righteous, with my righteousness, right now? What if I tell them they can stop beating themselves up? That they can stop being so formal, stiff, and jumpy around me? What if I tell them I'm crazy about them? What if I tell them, even if they run to the ends of the earth and do the most horrible, unthinkable things, that when they come back, I'd receive them with tears and a party?

What if I tell them that if I am their Savior, they're going to heaven no matter what- it's a done deal? What if I tell them they have a new nature- saints, not saved sinners who should now 'buck-up and be better if they were any kind of Christians, after all he's done for you!' What if I tell them that I actually live in them now? That I've put my love, power, and nature inside of them, at thier disposal? What if I tell them that they don't have to put on a mask? That it is ok to be who they are at the this moment, with all their junk. That they don't need to pretend about how close we are, how much they pray or don't, how much Bible they read or don't. What if they knew they don't have to look over their shoulder for fear if things get too good, the other shoe's gonna drop?

What if they knew I will never, ever use the word punish in relation to them? What if they knew that when they mess up, I will never "get back at them?" What if they were convinced that bad circumstances aren't my way of evening the score for taking advantage of me? What if they knew the basis of our friendship isn't how little they sin, but how much they let me love them? What if I tell them they can hurt my heart, but that I never hurt theirs? What if I tell them I like Eric Clapton music too? What if I tell them I never really liked the Christmas handbell deal with the white gloves? What if I tell them they can open their eyes when they pray and still go to heaven? What if I tell them there is no secret agendas, no trapdoor? What if I tell them it isn't about their self-effort, but about allowing me to live my life through them?"

What if...


(Taken from the book TrueFaced)