Lest I Forget

As of late, I've been reminded, in good and hard ways, that timing is, indeed, everything. I'm also reminded of the power of our words. Words can be like honey, soothing the hardest of days. They can also wound like the sharpest of knives. How easily we can forget...the power of words.

Throughout the last 20 something years in life, I've come to realize there really aren't coincidences. God in His oh so perfect way uses our day-to-day interactions and events to "gently" (or not so gently) prod us along the straight and narrow. It's up to me (and you) to allow these moments to sink in and refine. Will I let this hard, hurtful circumstance bring division and an air of self-righteousness? Or will I allow this to bring growth and humility, and choose to honor God? This is the choice we face day to day. I pray I will go with the ladder of the two, and be an agent of change and healing rather than a fragrance of self-righteousness and discord.

Back To the Basics

So, here it is. It's been awhile since I wrote what was going on in my world...I mean what is really going on. I'm not completely sure why I have been staying away from anything deep and personal, but have a few guesses. I just haven't felt like opening up and sharing the deep, dark with my computer screen. I have definitely hit a place of serious doubt and questioning. Either I've been seriously off, or perhaps the straight and narrow just gotten a bit more narrow in the last few months. I'm just tired of all the Christian cliches out there. Tired of passively knowing all the cute little Bible stories, and ready to really KNOW the God of the universe. And let me tell you, it's not the easiest thing in the world. Definitely humbling finding yourself asking/doubting the basics. Now, not hard in the sense that life sucks and there's no hope (although there are days life kinda sucks ;0) ). I think it's the fact I do have such hope that it's been so hard. See, I know there is only way to true change and redemption. I know there is only one person that is capable of providing the grace and love I so deeply need. And knowing there is only one is honestly a bit frustrating. Isn't there anyone or anything else that can come to my rescue? Anyone/thing that can make things better? Unfortunately not. I can try to find someone/something else, but it will just bring me back to the point I am today. BUT this is the thing...no matter how hard things are...no matter how deep the hurt and pain, I KNOW one day I will have true restoration. I know there will come a day when I will fully trust God, and I will be able to rest more and more in His endless love...BUT, today it's just not there. Today, I am just trying to make it each hour of each day...trying to believe and know I can trust Him. That's just being honest.

There are times it's hard to be wrestling with this stuff. Our "Christian" environments aren't always conducive to asking real, simple questions. People look at you with blank stares that can make you feel a bit ridiculous. But I am pretty ridiculous, so I'm good with that. You just get to the point where you have to let go, and admit you may have missed a thing or two (or three or four). Admit that I've been trying do to it in my own strength and knowledge. He's bringing me to the end of me and the beginning of Him...all Him. And it's been HARD. Totally turns everything upside down, and shakes everything up. All the "stuff" we learn and store in our head is great, but really is without value if we don't let it touch and saturate our hearts. I'm finally asking real questions. Simple, honest, basic questions.

As hard as things are right now, I wouldn't trade it for the world. You know why? Cause I am getting to know the Father in ways I have never known before...real ways. There are lots of tears, lots of hurts, and lots of pain, but I know it will all be worth it...that it is worth it.

I pray you have the courage and strength to ask the hard questions. To know there is nothing wrong with admitting you are a big, fat mess. To let go of the mountains of head knowledge, and let it make it's way to your heart. Because that's where you really begin to know Him.

"Half" way there...

As some of you know I am on my journey of completing my first marathon. This Saturday I competed in my first half-marathon. I was definitely a bit nervous only because I had been sick the 3 weeks prior to the race, and had only ran the 6 days leading up to race day. I will admit to you that I could hardly finish an hour run that week leading up the race, so I feel my concerns were legit. I pretty much assumed I was going to get dominated by the race. I talked to Billy (former boss, amazing runner, and pretty much my running coach) before the race, and expressed my concern. He assured me the 4 1/2 months of training had given me a great foundation to run the race regardless of the past few weeks. I wasn't as confident, but did it anyways. I basically wanted to make sure I wasn't setting myself up for failure and, more importantly, injury. So, I set a goal time, and went for it.

I'm incredibly happy (and a bit shocked) to report that I finished 10 minutes under my goal time! It was a great race! The weather was perfect, and running along White Rock Lake in Dallas was beautiful. Mile 7-9 were a bit brutal, but I survived. It really got me pumped for the full in November. Hopefully I can pick up my intensity a bit, and be well prepared come race day. Thanks Billy for all your help!!!

I AM...

I am a child of God (John 1:12). I am born again(1Pt 1:23). I am a new creation in Christ(2Cor 5:17) I am united with God, and am one with Him in spirit(1Cor 6:17). I have been bought with a price(1Cor 6:20). I am being redeemed more and more everyday(Col 1:14). I have been justified(Rom5:1). I am safely and completely tucked away in the hands of God(John 6:39). I am a member of the Body of Christ(1Cor 12:27). I have been chosen(John 15:16). I am adopted as the King's daughter(Eph 1:5). I am sealed as His beloved(Rom 9:25). I am forgiven(Eph 1:7). I am complete(Col 2:10). I have direct access to the throne of the One and only true God(Eph 2:18). I am free from condemnation(Rom 8:1). I am fearfully and wonderfully made(Ps 139:14). I am confident He will finish the work He began within(Phil 1:6). I am secured for eternity(John 6:39). I am significant(1Pt 2:9). I am more than a conqueror(Rom 8:37) I have not been given the spirit of fear and timidity, but that of power, love, and discipline(2Tim 1:7). I am a joint heir with Christ(Rom 8:17). I am God's temple(1Cor 3:16). I am part of a chosen race, His royal priesthood, a holy nation(1Pt 2:9) I am wholly, completely, and eternally loved(Col 3:12, Rom 1:7, 1Thess 1:4,Eph 2:4). I am a follower of the One true God and His divine Word.

Painful...

UMvsUtah-Aug08.jpg (75)
Originally uploaded by hardyc

I wasn't going to acknowledge it, and I don't really want to talk about it...I'll just go ahead and say I think it might be a looooong season...just gotta endure and persevere...
On a positive note, I am proud of the way they rallied there at the end. Hard to come back for 2 touchdowns in the 4th when you've been down pretty much the whole game...let's keep our fingers crossed for next week...
Also, to my Clemson friends mourning as well, really sorry for your loss...