Sunday, January 27, 2008
Some needed fun...
Here's some random info about me...if you're so inclined to do the same, you can follow the directions at that end of the post...pray you're having a wonderful weekend!
1. The age you will be on your next birthday:
2. Dream place to travel?
3.Favorite Place to be?
4. Favorite Object?
5. Favorite animal?
6. Favorite color?
7. Town you were born.
8. Town you live in now
9. First pets name.
10. First love. (my personal favorite)
11. Nickname.
12. Middle Name
13. Last name.
14. Bad Habit.
15. Your first job
16. Favorite book.
17. Your grandmothers name.
18. Favorite food
1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket
3) Take a picture from the first page of results copy the html code.
1. The age you will be on your next birthday:
2. Dream place to travel?
3.Favorite Place to be?
4. Favorite Object?
5. Favorite animal?
6. Favorite color?
7. Town you were born.
8. Town you live in now
9. First pets name.
10. First love. (my personal favorite)
11. Nickname.
12. Middle Name
13. Last name.
14. Bad Habit.
15. Your first job
16. Favorite book.
17. Your grandmothers name.
18. Favorite food
1) Answer the questions below
2) Take each answer and type it into Photobucket
3) Take a picture from the first page of results copy the html code.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Confessions and love…
A bit dramatic of a title I know…but I’m feeling a bit dramatic, or at least entirely deep and introspective. So, it’s 20:16, and I’ve been fighting the desire to go to sleep for at least an hour. I just got off the sleeping pills in effort to try and get back on the good ol’ Eastern European time zone. Like I told my boss this morning, “I think I’m officially drug free,” meaning- no more sleeping pills. Lastnight I was able to go to bed at a normal time (after watching the Patriots handle the Chargers), and slept through the night…without pills! Thank the Lord it only took a week to get use to the time change!
Welp, here’s the confession part…many of you know I need to make a decision on what I intend to do with my future…or at least where I’m going after June. Why June? Well, June is “officially” when my time here in Prague is done. There has been serious talk of me staying over here longer…3-5 years longer, but possibly with another organization. I’ve stated my desire to go to grad school, coach at the college level, and a few other ideas, but I guess the first two are the main two. In any case, I have been anything but committed to prayer on this topic. I know, I know…I said this was confession time, so don’t judge! To be honest, I have no idea why I’ve been neglecting prayer, and God for that matter with all this. I have certainly been proactive in recruiting others to pray for me (and thank you to so many of you who have and are!), but just haven’t been on my knees like I need to be. Maybe I’m scared…or procrastinating…testing God perhaps…waiting for some super divine moment where He spells it out for me in a dream…I have no clue. All I know is I think I’m ready to pray…
So, on to love…no, I’m not about to report any new “developments.” (Sorry Mom, Joe, Dad, Lisa, and the rest of my family) I started reading Soul Cravings, and came across a chapter that totally and completely resonated with me. If you have the book and want to get a glimpse of me, go to entry 9…pretty scary how accurate it is, honestly. Some out there have unfortunately experienced this firsthand, I’m sorry and know that had I read this book before, it would have been a prereq to dating me…God has recently been showing me how much deeper my trust issues run. I’ve always known I’ve had serious trust issues, but God is now revealing how much deeper they penetrate into my life. A bit frustrating, honestly, how much of my life is impacted by this.
McManus gives me some hope after reading this chapter. It sounds like McManus married someone with similar patterns that I have. His now wife, Kim, had abandonment issues. Her parents abandoned her when she was younger (not that I was completely abandoned when I was younger, but divorce is a messy, messy thing with unfortunate consequences.) The time leading up to their engagement he describes as “both wonderful and volatile.” Now, I’m not advocating the volatile behavior they were experiencing, but it did causd him to sit down and get to know her…on a deeper level. He goes on to write:
“Abandoned by her parents at the age of 8, she grew up in a foster home. She was sure that I would do the same thing. I would eventually come to my senses and get out of the relationship. She knew it wasn’t possible for me to love her unconditionally, and she was going to prove it. Sometimes the thing we want most, we fear the most.”
He has a bunch of other great stuff in there, but I’ll leave that for you to read. Last thought I want to share (if you’re still reading) is his comment on conditional/unconditional love…
“…and I learned over the years that we’re all actually far more comfortable with conditional love than unconditional love…The truth of the matter is that we’re uncomfortable with God. We’re disoriented by the way He loves. We want God to love us for an endless number of good reasons.”
Isn’t it sad how true that is? It is SO much easier for me to be loved for a list of reasons. I mean, there’s logic in that, right? Somehow there’s comfort in knowing there are reason why someone loves me. With unconditional love it totally requires trust (ah, and we come full circle…back to trust). Loving unconditionally and allowing myself to be loved unconditionally takes boldness and trust. If only I could wrap my mind around and take rest in knowing He loves me unconditionally, wholly, completely, with no end…oh, how nice that would be…
A bit dramatic of a title I know…but I’m feeling a bit dramatic, or at least entirely deep and introspective. So, it’s 20:16, and I’ve been fighting the desire to go to sleep for at least an hour. I just got off the sleeping pills in effort to try and get back on the good ol’ Eastern European time zone. Like I told my boss this morning, “I think I’m officially drug free,” meaning- no more sleeping pills. Lastnight I was able to go to bed at a normal time (after watching the Patriots handle the Chargers), and slept through the night…without pills! Thank the Lord it only took a week to get use to the time change!
Welp, here’s the confession part…many of you know I need to make a decision on what I intend to do with my future…or at least where I’m going after June. Why June? Well, June is “officially” when my time here in Prague is done. There has been serious talk of me staying over here longer…3-5 years longer, but possibly with another organization. I’ve stated my desire to go to grad school, coach at the college level, and a few other ideas, but I guess the first two are the main two. In any case, I have been anything but committed to prayer on this topic. I know, I know…I said this was confession time, so don’t judge! To be honest, I have no idea why I’ve been neglecting prayer, and God for that matter with all this. I have certainly been proactive in recruiting others to pray for me (and thank you to so many of you who have and are!), but just haven’t been on my knees like I need to be. Maybe I’m scared…or procrastinating…testing God perhaps…waiting for some super divine moment where He spells it out for me in a dream…I have no clue. All I know is I think I’m ready to pray…
So, on to love…no, I’m not about to report any new “developments.” (Sorry Mom, Joe, Dad, Lisa, and the rest of my family) I started reading Soul Cravings, and came across a chapter that totally and completely resonated with me. If you have the book and want to get a glimpse of me, go to entry 9…pretty scary how accurate it is, honestly. Some out there have unfortunately experienced this firsthand, I’m sorry and know that had I read this book before, it would have been a prereq to dating me…God has recently been showing me how much deeper my trust issues run. I’ve always known I’ve had serious trust issues, but God is now revealing how much deeper they penetrate into my life. A bit frustrating, honestly, how much of my life is impacted by this.
McManus gives me some hope after reading this chapter. It sounds like McManus married someone with similar patterns that I have. His now wife, Kim, had abandonment issues. Her parents abandoned her when she was younger (not that I was completely abandoned when I was younger, but divorce is a messy, messy thing with unfortunate consequences.) The time leading up to their engagement he describes as “both wonderful and volatile.” Now, I’m not advocating the volatile behavior they were experiencing, but it did causd him to sit down and get to know her…on a deeper level. He goes on to write:
“Abandoned by her parents at the age of 8, she grew up in a foster home. She was sure that I would do the same thing. I would eventually come to my senses and get out of the relationship. She knew it wasn’t possible for me to love her unconditionally, and she was going to prove it. Sometimes the thing we want most, we fear the most.”
He has a bunch of other great stuff in there, but I’ll leave that for you to read. Last thought I want to share (if you’re still reading) is his comment on conditional/unconditional love…
“…and I learned over the years that we’re all actually far more comfortable with conditional love than unconditional love…The truth of the matter is that we’re uncomfortable with God. We’re disoriented by the way He loves. We want God to love us for an endless number of good reasons.”
Isn’t it sad how true that is? It is SO much easier for me to be loved for a list of reasons. I mean, there’s logic in that, right? Somehow there’s comfort in knowing there are reason why someone loves me. With unconditional love it totally requires trust (ah, and we come full circle…back to trust). Loving unconditionally and allowing myself to be loved unconditionally takes boldness and trust. If only I could wrap my mind around and take rest in knowing He loves me unconditionally, wholly, completely, with no end…oh, how nice that would be…
Thursday, January 17, 2008
What a trip...
Well, I think it's Thursday morning. I have to sit down and try hard to figure out the days anymore. It was kinda a brutal week of traveling, BUT I did finally make it back to Prague. Here's what the week looked like for me(get a cup of coffee or tea, this might be a long one)...So, I said my goodbye's Sunday, packed my bags, and was ready to fly back to Prague Sunday night. Sunday night we go to the airport to check in nice and early. At the counter, I pleaded with the guy to make sure my bags could be checked ALL the way to Prague, so I didn't have to pick them up in London. Typically you have to get your bags and recheck them in London. See, my original itinerary had me flying out of DFW, a very short layover in London/Gatwick, then out of Gatwick to fly to Prague. The reason I picked this flight is because it had the shortest layover and I didn't have to switch airports in London. So, back to the ticket counter...so, I'm pleading with the guy to please make sure my bags go all the way to Prague, and it's takin him quite awhile, so I'm thinkin to myself,"Man, he's really tryin to make sure I don't have to get my bags in London. Sweet!" Wrong. He comes back to me and says,"Uh, mam, did you know this flight out of London has been canceled? It's actually been canceled for a month now." I'm sorry? What did you just say? Do I look like a girl who knew half her flight was canceled? I'm standing here with all my bags packed for goodness sakes...The correct answer would be no, no clue half my trip was canceled. By the grace of God I was able to remain calm...not tears or anger for that matter (that's growth my friends).
Fortunately, God blessed me with a great guy at the American Airlines counter. He began to work hard to find me an alternative route. Nothing was coming up except for ridiculous flights with a million connections and long layovers. I'll spare you the next hour of dialogue with the guy, and tell you we finally found one. I would leave the next day (that would be Monday), fly to Paris, and then to Prague. The catch was I would get 7 hours in Paris. Fine by me considering I've never been. This way I would be able to see a bit of Paris while I waited. So, I go home, get another night with the fam, another morning to workout, eat a huge salad at Jason's Deli, and off to Prague.
I get to Paris and head straight for the metro. Made my way to downtown Paris, saw the Eiffel Tower, Orsay Museum, and Notre Dame Cathedral. I enjoyed some crepes, got some souvenirs, and managed to not get too dominated by the horrible weather. It was cold, windy, and rainy...not ideal, but what can you do? Get back to the airport, which is the most ridiculous airport ever...definitely do not recommend it! I'm waiting and waiting and waiting to check in, finally an hour before they begin check in...then I find out the next good news...I have no seat on the plane. That super nice American Airlines guy gave me the wrong flight number!! Alright, so all the growth I referenced earlier is out the window. Tears starting flowing instantly. They sent me downstairs to talk to a supervisor. I'm looking at him with the most pitiful eyes ever...I'll again spare you details and tell you I managed to get on the flight WITH business class. The first question they had for me when I got on the plane? Miss Newman would you like white or red wine?
Fortunately, God blessed me with a great guy at the American Airlines counter. He began to work hard to find me an alternative route. Nothing was coming up except for ridiculous flights with a million connections and long layovers. I'll spare you the next hour of dialogue with the guy, and tell you we finally found one. I would leave the next day (that would be Monday), fly to Paris, and then to Prague. The catch was I would get 7 hours in Paris. Fine by me considering I've never been. This way I would be able to see a bit of Paris while I waited. So, I go home, get another night with the fam, another morning to workout, eat a huge salad at Jason's Deli, and off to Prague.
I get to Paris and head straight for the metro. Made my way to downtown Paris, saw the Eiffel Tower, Orsay Museum, and Notre Dame Cathedral. I enjoyed some crepes, got some souvenirs, and managed to not get too dominated by the horrible weather. It was cold, windy, and rainy...not ideal, but what can you do? Get back to the airport, which is the most ridiculous airport ever...definitely do not recommend it! I'm waiting and waiting and waiting to check in, finally an hour before they begin check in...then I find out the next good news...I have no seat on the plane. That super nice American Airlines guy gave me the wrong flight number!! Alright, so all the growth I referenced earlier is out the window. Tears starting flowing instantly. They sent me downstairs to talk to a supervisor. I'm looking at him with the most pitiful eyes ever...I'll again spare you details and tell you I managed to get on the flight WITH business class. The first question they had for me when I got on the plane? Miss Newman would you like white or red wine?
Thursday, January 3, 2008
Nashvegas
Sorry for the delay in details on the rest of my time in the States. I was taking a little break from the blogging world. I'll first start with my time in Tennessee. It was so great to see that side of the family. It had been a very long time since I had seen most of them, so it was definitely good catching up on life. Joe, Mom, Cam, and I set out on our roadtrip to Nashville bright and early Wednesday morning (the 26th). Got some great quality time that mainly consisted of me and Cam sleeping, but what can you do? I did, however, share in the driving responsibilities to give Joe a small break, trying to redeem myself a little.
Tennessee has such a southern, home feelin to me...with churches like Bluegrass Baptist and Tulip Grove Community how can you not love it? What I really love about it is that everything is southern...street names, malls, restaurants, everything has that country twist to it...I mean the southern twang is enough to get you spellbound and wanting to stay, doesn't it? Ok, maybe I'm a bit partial, but who doesn't love a little southern accent? Alright, back to my wonderful family...
So, Joe's family, who quickly became my family when my Mom and Joe got married, is amazing. They have such great love for each other, and truly love to be around one another. They have great traditions, and Christmas is definitely one of them. They're those kinds of traditions that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They may not seem like much to some, but they're meaningful all the same. I've been able to grow especially close to Joe's parents and his brother, Tom's, family. Tom's little girls are h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s! Especially little Danielle. She's a stinkin pistol...below are some pics from the trip...
Joe's brother, Tom's kids: Ally, Danielle, and Bethany. Joe's parents are in the oh so orange Vols sweatshirts, next is Cam and I with the hilarious Danielle. Then comes Joe's brother, Tom and his wife, Sherry, and their daughter Bethany. Then comes Joe's sister Cathy with her husband, Danny. As you can see, we were all tired of waiting for our food. Last is Cam and I enjoying our spinach dip...sooooo good!!
Tennessee has such a southern, home feelin to me...with churches like Bluegrass Baptist and Tulip Grove Community how can you not love it? What I really love about it is that everything is southern...street names, malls, restaurants, everything has that country twist to it...I mean the southern twang is enough to get you spellbound and wanting to stay, doesn't it? Ok, maybe I'm a bit partial, but who doesn't love a little southern accent? Alright, back to my wonderful family...
So, Joe's family, who quickly became my family when my Mom and Joe got married, is amazing. They have such great love for each other, and truly love to be around one another. They have great traditions, and Christmas is definitely one of them. They're those kinds of traditions that make you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. They may not seem like much to some, but they're meaningful all the same. I've been able to grow especially close to Joe's parents and his brother, Tom's, family. Tom's little girls are h-i-l-a-r-i-o-u-s! Especially little Danielle. She's a stinkin pistol...below are some pics from the trip...
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