It's sad to me to think how much I've been focusing inward, and completely lost sight of anything around me. I feel as though I've gone from one extreme to the other this past year of life. It's strange to me how fast things change. Well, I guess this wasn't necessarily a "fast" change for me. (Unless you consider a year fast?) But no matter how much you know or feel yourself changing, I'm not sure you're really able to see the change until it's pretty far gone...or maybe I'm not being completely honest in that. I think I might have known the change was occuring, but just didn't do anything about it. Either way, my ability at self-awareness in no way helped deter or slow my progression to my current state.
I am such a different person than I was a year ago. Not that the goal is to stay the same, but the change I've seen is not the kinda change I want. I realize this post will probably come off completely ambiguous to all but those 2 or 3 people that actually have walked beside me this past year, so forgive me for that. I'm sure details will come out down the road. To be honest, I'm not sure I could really articulate what's been going on anyways.
The point of this random entry is for me to acknowledge there needs to be a shift within, and I think publicly admitting that sometimes helps in that process...accountability to some degree.
I pray for the strength and grace to go walk towards Him. Allowing Him to redeem, soften, and love me...all of me.
"Now seek the Lord your God with all your heart..." 1 Chron 22:19
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