As of late, I've been feeling the lack and desperate need for Jesus in big ways. It's been quite a road the last 9 months or so. I wish I could say I've been full of faith, hope, and trust, BUT the truth of the matter is I've been clinging to the verse "faith as small as a mustard seed" to be more true than ever. No doubt I feel my faith has been tried, tested, and embarassingly small over the last year. BUT in God's ever perfect, unchanging, faithful way, He has proved true in so many ways.
I was talking with a friend the other day about the difficulty in sitting at His feet in the midst of tremendous proof of His faithfulness, and the huge lack of faith on my end. Do you know those moments I'm talking about? You've spent days, weeks, even months questioning and doubting He is who He says He is. You've been frustrated, annoyed, even angry at the "obvious" lack of doing on His part. No matter how many times He has proven His all-knowing, perfect plan I somehow still doubt Him. It's embarassing...really embarassing. I'm having a hard time resting in the loving grace He provides and desires to lavish on me.
How hard it is for my small human mind to comprehend His never ending love and faithful embrace. Oh Lord, that I would have the faith to trust in Your Word and Your forgiveness.
"So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most."
Hebrews 4:16
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