So the age ol tension for myself and most women, and I'll go ahead and throw in a few men, of being "content" in our singleness has orbited around my world heavily for a few years now. If we aren't dating enough, we have the loving help and "encouragement" of those near and dear to get out "there" (wherever "there" is) and date. On the other hand, if we are some of the few that are fortunate enough to have a somewhat healthy dating life we get the ol "You need to just take it easy and be content in your singleness." The minute I'm not dating or interested in someone, I'm being set up by someone else...the same someone else that just gave me the "chill out and be content" talk. It's kind of a lose/lose situation. A frustrating and somewhat obscure line...that patience, contentment, and being "out there."
SO, instead of dwelling on the frustrations of singleness, I thought I'd take a second and be grateful for singleness for the following reasons...
Flexibility. Spontaneity. Freedom. Good gracious, could I be any more free than what I am right now? No schedule but mine to check. I can pack up and take a roadtrip whenever I want. I can be available for others a heck of a lot easier. I don't have to wait to see what the other is doing for dinner. I can eat cereal every night if I wanted to!
Solitude. Down time. Time alone. I never realized how precious my alone time was until I really began committing my life to a more missional life. I realized as much as I love reaching out to others, I definitely need and love my alone time. Being single allows me to have that down time a ton easier than if I were married and had a family. I love quiet mornings, peaceful afternoons, and relaxing evenings.
Investing. Serving. Now, I know this one doesn't just pertain to those that are single. I know more married people than I can list that invest and serve in ways far greater than I am capable of even as a single. BUT, because I don't have a husband and/or children, that just gives me all the more energy and love to pour into others. Fellow singles, I believe this is where we have a tendency to falter. We can get very self centered and "me" focused if we're not careful. Find a homeless shelter, Bible study, help your church's nursery/kids program, do missions. Just get outside yourself...
Things I want to do now!
Grow like crazy! I want to be so incredibly available to God's stretching, transforming, and redeeming. Be proactive in my faith.
Serve. Invest. Serve. Invest. Enough said...
Take advantage of the blessing of freedom singleness provides.
Have married friends! I never ever want to be one of those that draw a line between me and the amazing married people there are.
Have fun!! Plan girl nights, and go on fun trips with the girls!
And finally...Ecclesiastes 3 says there are purposes for certain seasons of life. I want to be before God asking what unique things He wants me to do or learn in this single season.
The last 2 years, my old roommate and I coined a phrase: "Single's lookin really good right about now." And I have to agree. Ahhhh, the single life...
I just saw Mamma Mia, and I just had to put this up...Girls, break it down!
"You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen"
3 comments:
Well said! Thanks Heather.
love your perspective. thanks for sharing. this married friend misses you! praying...
Cool to hear your heart on this, Heather. This whole issue of relationship between singles and marrieds (and, actually cross-generational) is something I've felt strongly about for years. I have a young friend, a single college student, who's 20 years younger than me, and I absolutely LOVE my friendship with her; it's so good for both of us.
Anyway, it's good to discover your blog. (Thanks for the encouraging comment on mine.) I'll enjoy this connection with you.
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